Maa is sleeping right in front of me...At regular intervals she calls my name coz she wants to change her position and today she can't do it herself...She had an operation...All is well now but things were different 2 weeks back...
2nd of July, 2011
I was on my way back to Bhopal...Called Anku (my lil sis) to remind her to go and collect maa's reports from Apollo Clinic...she did "hmm...hmm...", Maa called after 5mins and asked "Anku batayi nai ki humlog Doctor ke paas se aa gaye"... I said "No"...Maa laughed (She has always laughed in pain...and guess that made many people feel that she had never been in pain...anyways...) so maa laughed and said..."anku to tab se ro rahi hai...doctor kahe hain ki kidney me stone to hai hi par kidney bhi shayad damage ho gai hai...remove karna padega..."
WHAT???? I was like...maa how can u say such a serious thing like this...and why are you laughing...I am not going back..I am returning to pune right away...
"Arey nahi beta..pahle tests ho jaane do saara..."
This time I did "hmm hmm..."
Was....I was blank...Every thought was having a counter thought..sab ghichpich ho raha tha...Finally I turned my music player on and selected "Aas paas hai khuda..." Was trying to heal myself and then "this" magic happened...It was raining and amidst the water droplets I saw "om" written on the glass window of the bus...the words of the songs were "Ki chalta hoon main tere sang me...ho shaam bhi to kya...."
It brought a smile on my face...It made me feel as if God is reassuring me that he is there...and there is nothing to worry...
And today I know he was doing that only... God wanted me to feel positive coz he was not going to allow any negative to happen to maa... :)
After tests which were really painful...Doctor told us that the kidney was not completely damaged and immediate operation will make e'thing good...Yes, during those two weeks I cried, I panicked, I was under stress, I felt I have left maa and esp. my lil kid anku alone...had lots and lots of mixed feelings...
But today all those mixed feelings take a sigh of relief when the operation has gone well and Doctor has assured that there is nothing to worry now...
Touch wood and Thank you God for being there... :)
[**BTW No special reasons for being absent for so long from this blog, all credit goes to my laziness... :P ]